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I must learn to love the fool in me
the one who feels too much
talks too much
takes too many chances
wins sometimes and loses often
lacks self-control
loves and hates
hurts and gets hurt
promises and breaks promises
laughs and cries.


dailies
Kickette
ESPNstar
Duchess Lane

concert 08
after being a SPORTS person for 8 yrs.. i switched to sth that has no link at all. haha. weird but actualli it was fun.. had a concert ytd.. was fun.. was fast cos we simply rushed through the songs. haha. kicked the stand during one the of song. xD. it was fun shouting and heng some ppl didn't hear it if not x(
we were crazy-ly taking photo wif whoever we wanted to.. so get ready.. the photos are coming..
claire and siying
flower power
The STAND pair/ YING 2
bp-ians
YING 3
the SC

with THE MAN
The one who always fall asleep during practice
五重奏和老师
Section Leader

四重奏
the 2 quirky guys
the crazy guyS
The Solo-ist/ YING 1

the peeps who SANG 好日子
with DA MAN
wenying and shuqin
my President/section mate

奴才和皇上
高的
the thousand arm buddha tat failed

sect + QM

took this wif hm when we went out to have supper. well i had no appetite to eat in the end and looked at them eat. and i was like stoning cos i was kinda too tired. & a little cos i dunno wad to say =X

random post.. saw this description of may baby from an email.. quite accurate.. SOME..

Stubborn and hard-hearted. yes i'm quite stubborn.. i'm not hard-hearted with regards to everything
Strong-willed and highly motivated. wanna do sth but often end up not doing it
Sharp thoughts. me? ha
Easily angered. quite true
Attracts others and loves attention. i scare away others cos of my expression/body language. yeh.. who doesn't like attention
Deep feelings. true
Beautiful physically and mentally. how to be beautiful mentally? physically i tink i'm jus average
Firm Standpoint. based on today's example yes
Needs no motivation. bullshit
Shy towards opposite sex. could be.should be
Easily consoled. errrr... on the surface yes..
Systematic (left brain). ehhhhhh
Loves to dream. 100000%
Strong clairvoyance. i hope not
Understanding. am i?
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. don't bother to take note
Good imagination. 10000%
Good physical. i dun think so
Weak breathing. yes!
Loves literature and the arts. maybe jus arts
Loves travelling. yeah! but i hate plane trips/ boat trips/ bus trips. LOL
Dislike being at home. quite
Restless. sure!
Not having many children. almost sure
Hardworking. dun tink so bah
High spirited. not always

吹口琴的我和平时的我几乎是不同的人...
安静的我... 累...伤...苦...
吵闹的我... 掩饰...烦躁...
微笑的我... 少见... 不想让时间被浪费
哭泣的我... 少见... 不想让时间被停止
内心的呐喊有谁能听的见...
听见了又能怎样...
我的存在有多少人珍惜?
我珍惜你的存在

ytd was a bad day. bad bad bad day.
1st thing was i cudn't take my pile of math ws from my drawer becos my aunt is sleeping in my rm. out of respect for her privacy i decided not to go in. anyway that drawer creates a high pitch sound whenever i open it.
2nd my area was raining cats and dogs so the buses all seemed to hv disappeared
3rd when the bus finally came i realised i didn't hv my wallet. now i'm 200% sure i'll be late for morning prac. might even b late for sch
4th cos i simply hv too much to bring hm, i decided to leave some stuff in sch. to my horror i left my entire hw file in sch. how nice!
i realli hope today will be a better day but it doesn't seem like so cos ut's that time of the mth and it hurts!

when i was on the way down the escalator of the mrt ytd, this couple were like stuck wif each other. 2 person taking up the space of 1. yep. i noe u r in love wif each other but pls noe the limit to PDA. oh ya the other time i also saw a lady sitting on her bf's lap. hello do u tink u r feather-like?? and momo was being random during lect. saying stuff like girls shud hold their own handbags and not let the bf hold it cos it makes the guy look sissy. i dun tink i'll allow a guy to help me take my bag esp handbags

10.4.08 Orchard Rd Learning Journey

was woken up rahter early becos mum used that super loud alarm =( but nvm.. woke up to print the geog pdf.. sian diao.. so many.. and my dumb printer siao again =(

reached sch at abt 9.15.. too early.. so slacked arnd and waited for shing to come.. wait wait wait.. the teachers weren't vr pleased wif us cos we were late and didn't wear the proper attire.. ok realli sorry we didn't realli mean it.. it's jus that the pe shirt is vr ugly when matched tgt wif the sch skirt..

our facilitator is shermaine.. i tink that's how her name is spelled.. she looked vr STONE.. haha.. 1st activity was lame la.. stand b/w wisma and wheelock to count the no. of pedestrains -.- since no one will realli noe if it's correct we jus aga aga.. haha

next we crossed over to tangs.. actualli we didn't hv to.. facilitator 2 blur... and we counted the no. of vehicles -.- both activity may seem lame but at least there's link wif urban geog - confluence of transport etc etc etc..

next we were to go to food republic.. not my first time there.. but the first time i actually learn anything from a food court.. ECONS + HIST... making use of history to earn $$.. so bad right.. but entreprenuers only tink of profit maximising.. after the activity we sat down and eat.. ate that hokkien mee which had quite a long queue.. but it was nice.. i was praised for the way i eat prawns w/o hving to use my hands.. haha ty ty ty.. omg i sound so 不要脸...

next we had to go over to lucky plaza.. and we took so long to cross over =x 丢脸.. finally we managed to cross over.. had to count the no. of money changers.. took so bloody long to do it cos we were looking for a dumb directory and B1 doesn't hv one argh~ next prob is we hv to find out the exchange rate and no store puts out the exchange rate.. i infer that they are those money changer where the amt u change will VARY alot depending on the currency and total eee how can like tat...

joel keeps bugging us to hurry then can go find momo.. but he also nv help much.. bleah... so fast forward to paragon.. went to look at the directory again ... drew the floorplan in a vr horrible manner... jus wanted to be fast.. did the next activity on the coffee bean and starbucks wadever b4 going to find momo for our last activity.. since joel like to talk so much so we volunteer him to be the speaker.. and since momo lyk him so much so... ya..

we were done wif the activities and had time to slack arnd.. so off we went to coffee bean.. ordered cheesecake tiramisu and muffin to share.. the guys bought some big cup of latte.. but their 2 diff cups tasted diff.. zhiwei kept complaining that his is vr bitter.. so we added extra ingredients...


  1. skim milk

  2. normal milk

  3. sugared water

  4. vanilla powder

  5. cocoa powder

笑死人了.. but he still didn't tink it tasted nice.. last resort.. dare ppl to finish the drink.. we played 终极密码.. realised that joel oni played that once b4.. omg... then he suggested playing it at the next class chalet.. oh my again.. and the final dare will be *** i tio twice and both times is 69.. diao.. how come same no. !!! i drank the drink.. well i tasted like 3 in 1 coffee -.-

eventually we went to SMU.. saw this interesting person who had piercing all arnd his mouth... yucks! had the debrief. during the debrief shing and hulk were standing outside our door and being so funny. i wanted to laugh but also cannot.. esp when YH is sitting there right in front of the door.. ltr i tink i'm smiling at him x(


went over to PS.. walked arnd first since it was still quite early b4 going to ajisen (again) to eat.. this time someone took our places =( sat there ate and chatted for vr long.. the person-in-charge even gave us cups of water.. gd svc.. so glad they didn't hv the intention to shoo us off.. walked arnd somemore after leaving ajisen.. and i saw ZY!! so i ran away leaving the others puzzled.. ps ps i realli dun wanna let him see me.. i dunno howda explain la.. i also saw someone wearing a steven gerrard liverpool europe away jersey. it had gerrard's number and name printed on. i wonder where he got it from. i didn't see any gerrard jersey at queensway the other time i went

b4 we leave we took pic at the mrt.. weird place but ya.. we revised our P&C at the same time.. LOL..

at the bus stop... there's this couple who are totally immersed in their own world.. so obvious.. girl had flower and bear in her hand. guy was hugging her.. both sitting down.. lucky they were considerate enuff to no kiss and fiddle wif each other.. thanks ah..

is the preoccupation of the past an escape from the present?

can't believe this is actually an A level GP essay question.. it's more like something that will appear in someone's diary somewhere sometime.. but i will applaude whoever that's able to write this essay well balanced and argued and make full sense *applause*

but well... that's me.. for many yrs. living in the world of my own. no guarnatee if i'm still.. i tot i came out of it.. now i kinda doubt it..

i dun understand why would someone hving depression tell everyone abt it. it's not sth to be proud of. even if u tell anyone i dun think u wud go into the details right?? ok at least that's me.. jus some question i wanna post to U.. i hv my doubts abt whether u wud even read this since this is such a neglected place. maybe i shud say that's even better. it's as if i enjoy some sorta of "privacy" in this cyber world where privacy doesn't exist.
are u sure a counsellor wud turn down anyone jus cos of age??
why are u able to talk abt ur depression experience as if it's sth u r so proud of? when a frend ask me abt it, even if it's a closest frend, during my low days.. "u seeing counsellor ah?" my ans wud b -silence- i wun talk to a counsellor happily. even if i smile it wuf all hv been faked

well since u lyk to share so much abt ur part.. lemme tell u.. this is how i felt.
imagine the pain when u hv to devote almost every hour of ur time on ur cca, knowing that both ur academics and cca is impt.
Imagine how wud u feel if u didn't noe anything was wrong wif u, u tot it was oni stress
imagine the pain+relieve when someone finally realise that sth might b wrong wif u & that person is actually ur form teacher. the way she found out was totally in an unbelievable manner. not even ur frend realised sth cud b wrong wif u.
Imagine crying in front of ur whole class.
imagine sitting next to someone u dun realli lyk and crying
imagine being asked to go see the counsellor during lesson making so bloody obvious that sth is wrong wif u
imagine the sourness when u jus can't help but break down and cry non stop in front of some person and u noe u hv to ans some shitty Q at the same time. after that u hv to swallow all ur tears and clean up and look absolutely fine when u go back to class.

i dun tink depression is sth that will come jus so suddenly. i suppose it's sth tat is accumulated. if anyone still rmb.. me scratching my arms wif all the funny funny obj. rmb me telling u that my mum threw away all the penknives at hm. all that time. i suppose i NV NV NV forgot the pain i hv endured because of MY despite all the smiles. sry for lying or at least trying to lie. but believe me i'm over it already. maybe everyone's experience of depression is diff. maybe i shud not comment anymore.

sometimes i feel like crying cos i feel all dumb and wadever but the tears jus dun flow. i may seem like those who can cry easily but sometimes i myself dun understand why can't i cry when i WANT to and cry when i dun wan to. there's a reason for the web for being called bleakish. my life is bleak. no 1 realli seems to care. where hv my friends gone? i dunno i seem to hv lost touch.. dun talk me into believing wadever faith u believe. it makes me VR uncomfortable. if anyone from 33 can rmb i rushed out of chi class once after teacher commented on my compo. it's not cos i'm sad that i wrote badly. who can write a compo properly when thru-out u're crying and u see the tears flowing as if it doesn't end. when every word u write is ur true feelings???

i dun expect any pity. i jus wan everyone to acknowledge my presence. pls choose not to reply my msg jus cos u dunno howda to reply.