hello, colours

welcome

I must learn to love the fool in me
the one who feels too much
talks too much
takes too many chances
wins sometimes and loses often
lacks self-control
loves and hates
hurts and gets hurt
promises and breaks promises
laughs and cries.

dailies

Kickette
ESPNstar
Duchess Lane

26 oct 2010

am feeling myself becoming weak. october hasn't been great for me. My body seem not to be functioning properly. First I couldn't eat. Then the next week I was eating and still had gastric. next I was super energetic, able to stay awake the whole night. Then came the days where I felt as though I was floating, my mind almost out of my control but my eyes wide open. My mind wonders off and I could barely stay focused on what I'm reading. Tonight, my stomach felt funny, then I felt giddy again. I told my mum frankly that I foresee a day when I'll faint. That's how weak I feel myself becoming. Clearly iy's not because I have not been sleeping. I slept for 13 hours on sunday. Ytd I slept 10

November is coming. I have one more project to complete. The exams are coming. I have so much readings to clear. I have to toughen up. I have to strengthen up. I need to concentrate. I need to get the grades. I don't want to graduate so soon. I need to prove my worth, I'm not just a labourer who works for ur small pathetic pay, I disallow u from looking down on me. Your kids may be academically superior but that doesn't make all others inferior and to be looked down upon.

I hold grudge, this I've come to realise. Bad as it is, I still can't hold myself back. I can't simply forget it.I know I shouldn't behave as such. I just can't help it.

I also come to realise that I tend to complain a lot, hoping for attention. But also I realise There're people out there facing the same issue. So here I'm trying myself to push myself forward to encourage others to move forward too. I have to get rid of the tendency to be pessimistic.