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I must learn to love the fool in me
the one who feels too much
talks too much
takes too many chances
wins sometimes and loses often
lacks self-control
loves and hates
hurts and gets hurt
promises and breaks promises
laughs and cries.


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Kickette
ESPNstar
Duchess Lane
5 more days

the year is abt to be over soon.. hmmm maybe i shud review the yr like many many do..

Sch
back in Jan i was still unsure whether i'll be retained in J1 or i can cont on wif J2.. if i was to blame anyone or anything for the shit situation it had to be myself and the tv. yep watch too much soccer for my own good.. really glad when i learnt that i cud cont on wif J2. so for a short while i was ultra super happy until reality hit me and i became emo again..

the prep for As was unusual. away from TV. away from home. long days in sch. emo. but on the other side.. i was playing Wii going shopping.. all so weird..

sch's over. almost officially.. not that i wanna think abt it. i just simply wanna run away from it lah.. but seriously i'm afraid of hving to repeat year2. there was once i actually tot maybe i shud hv jus retained in j1 and REN MING. but actually i oso dunno wad course i wud wanna pursue if i was to be lucky enough to go U.. maybe i'll start worrying abt it next year.. it's oni a few days away mah.. and to those 3 that i promised to treat if i go U: "I'll rmb de!"

class
i dunno wad to say. dunno where to start. had some great memories of them.. like being lame.. taking photos.. playing at settlers.. trying to be big fat muggers.. being evil.. being nice.. etc..

i suppose some of them will miss the class a lot. i dunno abt myself. i nv had that kind of feeling to any class. regardless whether it was my p6 class or my sec4 class. it was like i was so close wif huiqi but in came 2003 and we almost totally lost contact.. i'm nearly 100% to be blamed bah.. JIE MEI DANG too.. hai.. maybe i'm just not vr good in maintain friendships.. maybe i dunno how to treasure the people and things arnd me... but i hope i'll learn someday somehow..

now that i'm here typing.. i 'm listening to radio.. listening to the song realise.. haha how appropriate..
If you just realize
What I just realized
That we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realize
What I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
If we missed out on each other, but
It's not the same
No it's never the same
If you don't feel it too
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way
It could be the same for you

(ps. things are going to be un-understand-able =p)
realisation
just now i was watching tv & the content reminded me of sth.. sth which some other thing had reminded me of.. it's sth which i'm better off w/o & i dun wish for it.. but i think i shud be ok for it to happen for me to feel this way

although it didn't last long, brought me tears and turned my world upside down inside out it's sth which i can't and won't forget.. it still makes me feel all ... ... my heart beats differently.. the grey covers the pink.. not that the pink is too little it's just that the grey hit me too hard. how i wish i think of the pink more than the grey. if u wan me to sum up my feelings regarding it, it'll b tough.. i was angry but no longer. i was sad and i still am a little every now and then. happy i was. i missed him quite a lot suddenly for some time.. seriously if EVER one day he comes into my life somehow i think i'll lose control.. typically soolin charis might be thinking if she reads this. no one will be able to replace his position. is this a positive or negative position? dunno.. it's just diff and oni for that 1 person. and so QIAO the radio is playing secondhand serenade's fall for u
But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another dayI swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

that actually made me fear.. i keep telling mum that i wud rather TONG JU than get married to save on divorce fees hahahahahahahaha..

HUI TOU CAO is not for me becos of fear too. if it happened it might happen again right? of course there's another side of things. but fear is tooooo huge to overcome.. so lets hope someone comes by to change things. or sth that changes my perspective.. confidence is sth that i most def lack..